Tuesday, November 30, 2010

No turnin' back*

I am a firm believer in living a life of no regrets.  I mean, you rarely get a second chance to correct things that happened in your past, right?  I will admit to this; I feel I have made some misguided decisions in my past and tried to justify them on the back-end with prayer.  I really hope you understand what I mean by that because if I try to explain it,  you would have to plug in your laptop or charge your phone to read it all.  I am not as complicated as I try to make myself or my life out to be . . . I just complicate things in my life (lost even more, eh?).  In my past, I have sought the advice of close friends and family members when it came to life-altering decisions.  In hindsight, (not regretfully) maybe I should have just consulted myself and God.  I mean who knows you better than you?  God!  I used the excuse many times that, I'm just living my life and I have to experience different things in life in order to grow and be able to learn and gain wisdom.  As I reflect, wisdom comes from being able to make the right decisions and minimal mistakes based on what one feels inside.  It has taken (work in progress) over 30 years for me to understand that doing what I feel is right and not what close friends, family or the emotions of others dictate to do. It is the only way to live without having so many "what if" scenarios running around in my head.   I usually try to leave y'all with something to ponder or just a nice word(s) of wisdom; but this time I leave you to yourself and your thoughts, no influence from . . .


*This was not about any specific situation, relationship gone awry or love lost.  I selected this song for its nostalgia.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Mac or PC?

So my computer got a virus at work the other day (possibly from a file sent from a friend-but I don't want to believe it).  Now, other than the fact that I no longer have that file to gander at from time to time. . . I lost everything else on my computer.  This got me to thinking . . . sometimes relationships can be like computers.  When you meet someone new, it's like getting a new computer!  You are happy, can't spend enough time with them, there is nothing that they can do wrong.  You want to personalize them to fit your needs and allow them into all aspects of your personal life.  But then the inevitable (in PC world) happens, someone decides they want to take over your computer and cause you grief.  You are living the G.O.O.D. life with your computer and having fun, planning trips, Exploring the WWW., even introducing members (pics) of your family and friends.  Then . . . CRASH!!  It's all gone!!  You try all your options tech support (counseling), anti-viral software (friend support) and even taking a break (not sure what leaving your computer alone for a few days is supposed do to fix it, but we do it anyway).  After all that trial and error, you end up having to either go out and buy a new computer or wipe the drive clean.  Regardless of how you look at it, you are starting over.  So as it goes in relationships, you have to start all over.  Normally, this comes in the form of meeting someone new.  A lot of time we tend to wait before we buy a new PC (which is equivalent to "taking sometime to yourself") but in the end we get back in the computing (dating) scene.  Now, it would have been really clever if I used more computer terms to relate my topic, but I don't have that kinda time . . . gotta get back to personalizing my PC.  But I will leave you with this thought . . . they say Macs don't get viruses, of course they are a little more difficult to learn from a PC but it's not impossible, and they are not as "open" for change as a PC but is that really all that bad?  You get security, longevity and better performance in a Mac .  If you had a choice, will your next relationship be with a Mac or a PC?


Monday, November 22, 2010

A blues for the Ga. Peach*

As I said before, sometimes it is SO easy
It shouldn't be but it is, for a guy like me. 
On the surface, it seemed as if I had it all in order, 
But you see, it was all a facade to be revealed at a later time and place. 

If I knew then, what I know now . . . 
How nurturing you were and how good you could have been for me
. . . maybe I would've treated you different. 
I say maybe because, it was SO easy to "play" the game. 

It was like I wrote the rules and you had the handbook, 
Little did I know, it was setting me up for disappointment. 
I treated you slightly better than dirt, but you never blew away, 
Well, maybe for a minute or two but you always came back. 
I always wanted you to come back but not really, because 
Living the playa lifestyle was SO easy. 

You knew what you wanted and you knew what I could provide, 
You were aware of my indiscretions but your feelings you couldn't keep inside. 
I toyed with your emotions, brought you sunlight and drained your juices . . . 
The last part hurt me deeply but I couldn't let you know that cause . . . 
It was SO easy.

You fell off the tree and rolled straight to me but  . . . 
I wasn't ready to use you in my recipe.
I felt I could keep you around until I was ready to taste the sweetness you possess
But there were so many other options and fruit on my plate I didn't want to miss out. 
Thinking back, maybe I did, maybe it was for the best. 

I guess living the playa lifestyle was SO easy until you put a face to the fruit. 
I might have missed that harvest but the tree still has roots.

*Any resemblance to a real person or situation is intentional.


Thursday, November 18, 2010

And to think I wanted to be one.

A dentist.  Yep, I know it might seem weird if you know me that I wanted to be a dentist.  I believe it started when I was a young'un and the thought of someone helping you keep your smile looking great was cool to me!  I had the occassional cavity here and there growing up as a kid but it never scared me to visit that office.  I even did a report on a dentist from my church for school and became more "glamoured" (I miss TB) by the profession.  It wasn't until I realized I had to take Biology in college and all the other sciences that would follow, that I changed from Pre-Dent to Political Science (I know BIG difference).  Anyway, I say all that to say; I went to the dentist this morning for what I never thought in my life I would have to go through . . . a ROOT CANAL! Yeah, yeah, go ahead and make fun of my rotten, dirty mouth . . . I try my best to brush, floss and rinse with mouthwash on a regular basis but at times I fall short.  Not to mention the 2-3 years that either I didn't have dental insurance or couldn't afford the co-pay to go . . . so there goes preventive maintenance.  But I can only blame myself for what I have to go through over the next few months to get my teeth healthy again.  I feel as if I have to keep all my teeth and keep them healthy, not just for my girls but cause one of the first things I notice on  a person is their smile- which normally includes their teeth.  Even if you don't show your teeth when you smile, if your teeth are jacked up or missing, it shows in your smile.  Trust me . . . I'm a smile/teeth watcher.  So if I'M looking at those things, I feel like everyone else is!!  Not to mention I'm already self conscious about certain things with my appearance, I don't need anything else to worry about.  Now the dentist I visited today was recommended by an associate (I say that because we are acquainted by association of another high school/college buddy of mine).  I will not go in to details about the procedure, or complain about the cost that I have to pay OOP (out-of-pocket), let's just say they made the experience as pleasant as it could be given the circumstances.  So here's the kicker . . . he's black (i don't like to use the term African-American because that could also be a white person- you know it's not only black folk in Africa) and his staff is all white women (save for a single black female that I noticed chilling in the back).  Of course, it's 20TN as Jeezy said our President is black, and it's not uncommon for a situation like this to exist. Did I mention, his office is in a really nice, rural predominately caucasian area?  Most of his patients are caucasian but he takes me to his office to watch youtube videos featuring this rapper from Chi-Town!!  I love it!!  He keeps it 100% with all his patients and finds ways to connect with them on any level, he and his staff have great people skills.  You may be wondering, what does all this have to do with the price of tea in China?  I will tell you. . . I look at him and his practice and start thinking . . .  "damn, that could've been me."


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How does your garden grow?

I see this is becoming an epidemic not only in Atlanta but across the country.  Successful, black, intelligent, SINGLE women with no valid prospects for marriage.  You might say, "well, what do you mean by that?"  It is what it is . . . just read it again.  On my way to work as I was venting about a situation to myself in the car, I realized it's not necessarily the fault of the woman.  Nor the fault of the man, alone.  It is a joint issue that must be address in order to be resolved.  The  women of my topic generally want a man that can supplement them in every way (notice I said supplement- in the sense of 'extend or strengthen the whole') but have a hard time finding a man that is at that point where he is ready or able to do what it takes when she is ready.  The key words are again 'when SHE is ready', most men develop at a slower pace than women thus might need some pushing, or encouragement.  I am not saying that in order to have a thriving relationship you must raise the man; but I am saying you must treat him and your relationship like a garden . . . give it what it needs to grow and it will in turn give you what you need and sometimes want.  I know a boatload (more like a canoe) of "topic women" that are single and look at me like "i was the one that got away" (thanks Kanye); but what a lot of them don't realize is, my wife didn't give up.  At times she probably thought, I didn't fit into her "five-year" plan or I was hindering her ability to grow but she continued to water and fertilize the garden.  I guess it's a case of, how bad do you want it?  I am not saying women should settle for any man they can get and hope and pray he will turn out to be "that man" with a little work . . . men have to at least be willing and ready to be planted.  Initially, I wasn't and I resisted.  I eventually came around and began to see the vision and what could be accomplished if I get on board and stop trying to be a playa (that's another topic for another day . . . it piggybacks off this one heavily).  So as men, we need to strive to be more than entertainers, athletes, trap stars, or live without attainable goals.  If a woman can see the potential in you to do more and be more . . . allow it to manifest.  Don't see it as her trying to change you or make you who she wants you to be.  Maybe she realizes she has a good thing in you and wants to nurture you and help you to grow to be more of what she knows you can be.  If you think of all the successful black men that you might know or know of . . . most of them got there or are in the process of getting there because of a woman . . . not so much  because of their homeboys.  Even if it was their mother or Madea (R.I.P), women sometimes have more gumpshun than men.  So as I close these thoughts and let you go back to your own . . . let me leave you with this:  are you doing all that you can to make your life and the life of your significant other better? 


Saturday, November 13, 2010


So this is a pic of the actual pager I got suspended from school for wearing in the 10th grade! My mom found it this morning in a box, and hands it to me like "here ya go". I can't remember if I ever got it back after that suspension, but if I didn't; I guess she saw fit that I get it now. Ain't that something?! That's one of the reasons I like about coming home, its calming, humbling and somewhat motivational. I never have to worry about who's watching the girls when I'm here -calm. My mom and my dad still expect their respect as if I don't have my own family and household that I take care of -humbling. I see people and things that I would like to see improved or that I don't want to resemble which drives me to improve or make moves-motivation. Never forget where you came from and always try to accentuate the positive.

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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Where is the love?

Ha!  Just when you thought this would be a mushy entry about the love I lost or my feelings and what not . . . it's not.  It is however, a brief rundown on a situation that has occurred locally in my town that is bothering me.  Five teenage boys.  One death.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  Although it is still developing go here for more information.  What has happened to our youth or society that we allow our kids to glorify violence.  Or if it is not glorified, what do you call it?   How can four young men beat another young man to death?!?  I'm not talking methodology, I am referring to mental capacity to feel this is the thing to do.  At this point, it has not been confirmed whether the young men in custody are the assailants but even more ridiculous . . .  they ain't snitchin on the dudes they saw doin it!?!?!?!??  Are you serious?  You are facing a murder charge for stomping a young man to death (and the state wants the death penalty) and you don't want to tell  on who you actually saw do it?  This goes back to my point before.  Why do youth today feel it is more honorable to protect their "homeboi"?  Where are we dropping the ball?  Is it the television and all the gang life or mobster mentality that is portrayed there?  Is it the music and the entertainment that we expose them to that effectually is desensitizing our future?  Are we prepared to grow old in a cold-hearted, callous society were"actual" murderers, thieves, rapist and other criminals roam free because of the "buddy system"?   As you can tell by now, "where is the love?" fits this entry perfect.  I believe it is rapidly fading in our younger generation because it is not exhibited towards them.  Family, friends, educators, law enforcement, neighbors, etc all have a sense of fear for this generation and are doing nothing to show them life is not all that they see from their "digital parents".    I do my part with the kids I interact with in my neighborhood, at my daughters' school and with my family members but; maybe that's not enough.  I am going to look in to becoming a mentor.  I will keep you posted.  What can YOU do to bring the "love" back?


Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Such are the thoughts of a man.

 Not naked in the sense of anything sexual or degrading
But naked meaning bare, without cover.
The opposite sex tends to feel there is more
But they tend to miscontrue what we have in store. 
Not realizing the nakedness of the terms
The vernacular or the words 

I know at times we might seem deep, introspective
or even intellectually supreme, 
don't get me wrong we are all these things. 
But still even with the complexity of our words 
Or the immense vocab that we utilize in our conversation we still remain. . . 

When we say we like you
That's what we mean.
When we say we love you 
That's what we mean.
If I tell you something and explain my thoughts and feelings
That's what I mean.
Don't look beyond the veil of my words.
I have said exactly what was on my mind to say. 
No one can elaborate on my thoughts but me therefore I present them 

Some may feel we are not in sync with ourselves to be so open 
So naked. 
But I am here to testify, what better way to be? 
Especially if you think of women in that way sexually, 
Why not let them in your life that way, mentally. . . 

Saturday, November 6, 2010

While supplies last.

The physical form does not last forever. Our bodies are meant to deteriorate, wither away (if you will) or even just reach their expiration date. My mother's last living (if that's what you consider her state for the past 2yrs) sister passed away today. I do not recall her age but I know before her stroke, she was vibrant and semi-active. Not saying that it was impossible for her to die, just difficult. Difficult in the sense of hearing the hurt and pain in my mothers voice and being miles away and not able to put my arm around her and console her. I told my cousin earlier that God took most of my aunt years ago and left us with what she has been the past or so ago to help us prepare for her not being physically on this earth anymore. We should have been preparing ourselves for this moment in time. I still believe her spiritual influence will remain with us. I will miss her. I wish I could hug my mom. Friends, loved one are not physically here forever. Cherish them. Cherish me. Cherish yourself. When God decides our time has come to an end, that is the end of our physical supply on this earth.

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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Vote, smote, blote.

Today is election day (mid-term) and I said I would not blog about this subject. However, I feel compelled to give my opinion, I will be brief. Voting is not something that should be a fad, it is not myspace, facebook, twitter or a popularity contest. It is a right that a lot of people died in our country to receive and protect. Moreover, in various countries, it is illegal to exercise the right! I appreciate the current sweltering interest in voting and the political process, but do your research. I don't care who you vote for or what amendment you decide y/n on, but just do it (thanks nike). As a political science major, I despise how politicians have made our government so unsavory. With that being said, I still voted. There will always be "mud-slinging" and "smear campaigns" but you as a citizen must perform your due diligence and research the candidates. If you decide to "sit this one out", you have no voice in what goes on and I refuse to be silenced due to ignorance.

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Monday, November 1, 2010

On top of it all, it's Monday.

I will come up with a title for this entry after I finish (not like you will know).  I am not feeling my best today, friends.  I went to a birthday party for a lil dude (1 yr old) this weekend and caught something from all the germ-infested bundles of joy that were around. Now, normally I don't do engagements with a wide variety of "other peoples" kids.  Why you ask?  Well, to put it plainly; I don't like other folks kids.  I love my daughters to death and I feel like that's enough.  Selfish? Possibly, but who are you to judge me?  The two main reasons I don't like "other peoples" kids are : 1) They are usually not as well mannered or respectable as they should be for their age.  2) Germs!!! 

To elaborate, we all know kids have a place in this world and they are our future.  Future.  Not the right now, don't let your kids call me by my first name.  Don't let them be all in our conversations when we are talking about things that don't concern them.  Don't let them be running around tearing up things, taking off their diaper, smearing mess on the tv screen,  etc.  In short, please raise your kids to be respectable citizens in our society.  It starts at home people.  Some things are cute but some things are just downright trifling!  Second, as I mentioned earlier- germs.  My body is immune to the germs that my kids bring home everyday.  Therefore, I can be in their faces all day everyday and not catch much of anything.  I'm not blaming the "party promoter" but I should have probably arrived with a surgical mask on my face.  You laugh, but it would've worked it was a costume party and I could've played a doctor or even a paranoid citizen during the SARS outbreak.  Either way, I would have probably avoided this horrible feeling that I am experieincing. 

Well, I have a busy day ahead of me and need to focus.  More Gatorade (cut the check) for me, hopefully I can replenish the fluids my body has lost over the past 24 hours.