Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Growing up I never got everything I wanted but my parents made sure  I had all that I needed.  My sister and I learned to appreciate the little things that we received.  My oldest daughter does not truly know what it feels like to need or want anything.  I believe it is my fault and I do not want her to continue to grow up in a society where she does not show appreciation.  I am not the one to admit that she is spoiled because she does not get everything she wants but I like to make sure she is well taken care of.   Most of it stems from me being a single parent raising her for 5-6 years of her life (6 mos. after her birth).  I felt as if I had to overcompensate for not being "mommy".

I don't want this to turn into a pity party for me, I am just giving a brief background as to why I feel I have caused my daughter to be such an ingrate.  It pangs me to even speak that about her because I truly feel it is my fault.  As I eluded to earlier, the times I kept my daughter (which was either every weekend or over the past 5 yrs. during the school week), I made every attempt to discipline and maintain order.  But at times, it became too overwhelming not knowing or understanding the mentality of  a little girl.  Of course I had my mother, my sister and close female friends to give me guidance and assistance at times but a phone call or a text doesn't always help when you are almost at your wits end. 

Her mom was/is the "fun" parent, they would always do things, go places, eat whatever, stay up late, etc. with the other children in the house (her mom has 4 other children) and when it was back to my place it was so "blah".   Thus began my quest to make her time with me more entertaining.  Not only did she have her own room, she had a tv, dvd player, my old computer (at the age of 3-but she knew how to work it) and loads of toys.  All these things because I thought it would make up for not having the other children around to play with and more to do than just hang with me.  Even when we had time (which was rare) we would go to the park, the mall ( although I loathe being in the mall), or just sit around together and play a board game. 

All these things, I believe helped the situation at the time but only made it worse for me now.  It seems now that she expects to receive and even when she doesn't she knows it's not a big deal- it will come eventually.  That might sound great but, when it comes; there is a lackadaisical sense of gratitude.  I can go on and on about this because it is really eating me up inside but I won't, I guess I just had to share my thoughts with the few bleeps that visit my page and let them be aware of few things. 
  1.  Learn to appreciate the people and possessions in your life you never know what it took for you to receive them. 
  2. Children only know what they are exposed to, instead of competing for friendship, try being a complete parent.
  3. Never let another person dictate your actions, do what you feel is right in your heart and you will never, ever be disappointed. 

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